Fuck Slut-Shaming, That Shit Has Got to Stop.

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For anyone with a TV, internet access (with it a Facebook and/or Twitter account), or who has ever stood in the check-out lane at a grocery store, the news over the break-up of Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson has unlikely escaped your attention. Even if you’re not following it because, like me, you’re not a voyeur, you at least know the headlines. Honestly, I couldn’t have cared less about the “news” because I do not know either of these people personally, I’ve seen a number of their movies (“Snow White and Huntsman” was awesome, in my opinion, and “Remember Me” still makes me cry if I try to talk about it); however, after reading Nico Lang’s post on HuffPo, I have now taken an interest. Not because I have suddenly developed a twisted fascination with the relationships, break-ups, or sex lives of the people involved, but because I am now aware of and concerned about the public reaction to the story; and quite frankly I am both appalled and disturbed by the vitriol being hurled at Kristen Stewart.

People, many of them young girls and women, are publicly and bitterly flogging her all over the internet. Kristen is being called a “whore,” a “home-wrecking cunt,” and has even received death threats. There’s even Facebook pages, like this one and this, devoted to “slut-shaming” Kristen. There’s so much wrong about the public reaction to this, not the least of which is demented fascination and involvement that these people have with celebrities and their personal lives; but that’s a discussion for another time. Right now I am most worried about the “slut-shaming” taking place. From the flogging Kristen is receiving, to pompous windbags like Rush Limbaugh calling Sandra Fluke a “slut” for wanting access to birth control, to the unsettling reaction to Secretary Clinton’s lack of make-up, our society has a very medieval attitude toward female sexuality that is nothing less than fucked-up.

Through the comments of misogynists like Limbaugh, the obsession over Secretary Clinton’s face, and the public outcry over Kristen’s actions we are teaching young girls some very unnerving lessons. We’re teaching girls that men can do whatever they want whenever they want with little to no adverse reactions because, well, they’re men and it’s just the way men are. Case in point, Ashton cheated on Demi and I barely heard a whimper; Rush has cheated on two of his previous wives, no one says shit. Do you think there is a Facebook page devoted to slut-shaming Rupert Sanders, the man with whom Kristen had an affair? Nope. Not a one. Kristen has about a dozen hate-pages, all of which have people cursing, shaming, and wishing death upon her, but the married man, the one who betrayed his wife and kids, is getting by virtually unscathed by public opinion.

We are reinforcing the antiquated notions that Women and girls are supposed to keep our legs closed until our boyfriend or husband wants use of our lady bits; that we are supposed to dress modestly, never leave the house without a bit of make-up, and act respectably; and never, for the love of all things holy and good in the world, are we to ever make a mistake because if we do the world will rain down upon us a fire-storm of insults, death threats, and stigmatization the likes of which would make the fire-bombing of Dresden look like a back-yard barbecue. We are perpetuating a culture of patriarchy in which women are ostracized from society; our careers ruined and our reputations irrevocably demolished for daring to not be virginal little ladies. We might as well just sew a scarlet letter on Kristen and get it over with.

Fuck that shit.

Personally, I am rallying along side Kristen. Not because I think she’s a stellar actress or because I agree with or condone in any way, shape, or form that she slept with a married man; that was wrong. I feel baldy for the wife and kids whom Sanders betrayed, but beyond that it’s not my place to judge Kristen or Sanders. This is a very private matter and people need to mind their damn business. Kristen is not a whore or a slut, she’s a very young woman who made a mistake. The only people who get to be mad at or name call Kristen, are those people directly affected by the affair. Everyone else needs to shut the fuck up and stop slut-shaming every woman who dares to have sex. For this reason I’ve got Kristen’s back. I am standing up for her and with her because I am sick and fucking tired of the double-standard. I am sick and goddamned tired of women being called whores, sluts, cunts, and trash while society essentially gives men a free pass to use and abuse women as they see fit. This shit has got to stop. Fuck the double-standard, fuck the slut-shaming.

18 responses »

  1. I think the level of abuse Kristin is receiving probably has a lot to do with her being elevated to demi-god status in the minds of her very young audience and the fact that they fantasize about being her as she is portrayed on screen. Then it’s like Oops she’s actually a human being, damn I hate her for not being the fictional character to whom I’ve come to relate or wish I could come to relate.

    There is definitely a double standard in place though, like you say. It may have to do with the way male vs female characters are romanticized by their worshipers.

    Wouldn’t the world be an interesting place if people actually minded their own business for change….

      • People need to get thier own life and stay out of other peoples business. Parents also need to teach thier children a few old fashion morals, like staying out of other peoples private business. Too much gossip about other peoples business.

  2. Unfortunately, Kristen Stewart is an actress and her personal life is public no matter how wrong that is; it comes with the territory. The issue that I have with her situation is that most of us, at least me, have done things when young that I would not do now because I learned from those mistakes. What is she all of 21 years old living a Hollywood life and all that comes with it? Doesn’t Kristen Stewart deserve the chance to make mistakes without being persecuted.

    • If it comes with the territory, then why is Rupert not getting lambasted? Why was Angelina Jolie treated so much worse than Brad Pitt? Why was Jude Law’s nanny, Daisy Wright, called a “dirty whore” when she’s not an actress or famous in her own right in any way? I get what you’re saying, but public attention is not the issue here; it’s the slut-shaming to which women, famous or not, are subjected for sexual behavior of any kind.

      That said, I agree with you completely that everyone makes mistakes and the Kristen deserves, like everyone else, to “make mistakes without being persecuted.” :)

    • Exactly, she hasnt done anything any other young person hasnt done. Only difference is our stuff wasnt on public display. I say we hunt this married man down and persicute him and see how that goes….afterall…he’s the one who had vows with his wife that he dismissed….

  3. I think this has always been an ongoing issue, which leads to generation after generation of males being able to be the whores while the women they “conquer” are looked down upon. It’s always been unfair, and you can see the traits in every day life along with every movie. The bottom line is the men are the whores that bait the young unexpecting girls and they have no recourse to deal with.

  4. To me, I see a lot of backsliding in the way certain folks think woman should be treated. They are trying to turn the clock backwards in many areas of “woman’s rights and placement.” This is just one area and you have touched on others. Scary trend. Even scarier when you think of how many women except or encourage it.

    • “Even scarier when you think of how many women except or encourage it.”
      ^That’s the part, especially on the issue of slut-shaming, that bothers me the most, too, Tammy. We women need to stick together. That doesn’t mean we have to agree all the time or even like each other, just that we need to stop using misogynistic language against each other.

  5. This post is so perf. I love how it’s somehow always the woman that’s “at fault” and ostracized because she HAD THE NERVE TO HAVE SEX oh my god wow that’s so revolutionary NOT. I don’t like any cheaters because I seriously doubt their moral calibre, but there’s a difference between agreeing that someone made a mistake and slut-shaming them. Slut shaming is a load of bullshit.http://twitettes.wordpress.com/2012/09/09/slut-shaming-if-you-value-yourself-as-a-womanmanperson-stop-it-now/ here’s my post on it x

  6. Pingback: Fuck Slut-Shaming, That Shit Has Got to Stop. « Elephant Ocean | straykatstrut

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